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We were a team of three: myself, artist/musician Ansuman Biswas and performer, technician, trouble shooter David Statham. We had worked as a team before on several small intimate performative ritual events, and went to Mongolia with the intention of creating a series of performance improvisations; responses to place and experience. The story is long but we crossed (possibly too many) boundaries, sparred via heated arguments with other (European) members of the tour, and ended with an intense three hour late-night vodka-fuelled discussion with the State Shaman (really). When hed had enough he closed with At home you are shamans; over here you are artists.
It does something, this vast, open wilderness; it has the capacity to open you bare. It brought me face to face with my intentions as an artist and as a human being, and opened up questions as to the nature and value of our work as a company, especially as cross-cultural operators. So, despite reservations after last years wrangling, on being invited back I decided to go this time on my own - to process the shamans statement.
I offered myself the challenge of creating performances which communicated the essence of who I am and where I come from to a people from a different culture living in a different environment, but with whom I felt I could reach some sort of non-verbal understanding through the performance/audience relationship. I was the messenger; and in each performance I was looking for what I was trying to say. This took me along a steep learning curve. I had travelled ten hours in an aeroplane into the future to try something out which didnt quite work but in which I already saw the holes and spontaneously started to fill the gaps with something different again. On the one hand I was testing untried performance abilities (eg singing) within a highly professional context (eg opera singers with international reputations). On the other I failed to take the sort of risks I should be taking as a performer with my level of experience and performance confidence; I was stepping over an edge, but it was possibly the wrong one. Conversely, when I look back, I remember some very powerful highlights, including a new sense of confidence, authority and ease in the last performance of the tour in that concert hall in UB. Here, on a classic stage in a contemporary auditorium the most uninspiring and neutral space on the tour and I was no longer performing; I was in it, just doing the ritual. The applause was magnificent (although this may have been due to my saying Thank you Mongolia in Mongolian). However, something happened. The performances became only one part of a greater whole. I had divided the trip into three parts: the performances, the socialising, and post-festival research trip to somewhere. What happened, in effect, was that the boundaries between all three became blurred. My performance was not limited to my four five minute moments of inspired under-confidence, but actually encompassed the whole of my time in Mongolia. I began to merge with my performance character, the guy who did have the confidence to step out and be seen; during the festival once or twice I became a sort of master of ceremonies, and I was the only westerner to participate in the (I must admit) gruelling art of Mongolian wrestling (but I nearly hadim). Everywhere I wore my increasingly creased and dusty pin-stripe suit: wide lapels, slightly too short; it became the skin of my character the me/not-me traveller. I had originally intended just to perform in it but discovered that it was of course the perfect travelling outfit. Subsequently strolling through Ulaan Bataar, camping with American academics in the middle of a particularly enormous Mongolian landscape, riding back on horseback. I was the be-suited one, the fool, the trickster; I was permanently in character. I was on a trip, connecting back to and pulling together a handful of past experiences and personal explorations. The suit, the nomads, the desert; it was as if I was pulling in the strings of my experience, clearing away the detritus; refining my act/mission/life. And my alter ego, he was the messenger. Im making a video diary, creating a montage of incidents from the journey, my journey and at the same time not mine; rather that of my alter ego, the man in the suit. The performances themselves were in retrospect only a small part of the work; a series of isolated fragments - extreme moments - in that journey. And something else, because this is Mongolia that extreme coincidence thing: chance, fate (which is only chance in retrospect) whatever: I end up cooking up a really big trans-global-everything-Ive-ever-been-interested-in project spanning Mongolia, Britain and the USA with these American academics who I would never have bumped into and tagged a ride with and ended up camping with and discussing horse burial and environmental law and geology and the Bahai faith with if their cameraman with whom Id drunk lots of vodka in the Gobi a few nights before and then hadnt said goodbye to hadnt lost his wallet and so hadnt been on the phone opposite the airport café I was heading to while he was waiting to catch the same plane I was catchingÉÉ(not to mention arriving back at Heathrow at ten pm having failed to get anyone to pick me up, dreading the zombie-death-is-better coach trip back to Brighton, trying to push a trolley against a tide thousands of tired ex holiday makers who had all suddenly simultaneously descended on the luggage retrieval hall like some nightmare wave of humanity, and nearly running over some guy who is actually my friend Steve who lives in Brighton and had been on the same flight as me from Berlin without realising and who has his car in the short-stay car park ÉÉ.) See what I mean? This quality of place and time rubs off on you. As a direct consequence of this trip I have begun to review my entire life/work/history as an inclusive process. My several alter ego/performance persona merge into one constantly transforming entity operating in a liminal dimension between art and not art. I am beginning to reassess how I can access and express core resonances which lie at the root of my work and how they can be realised through international collaboration. And I want to return to Mongolia to do this. Mongolia is on the edge. It has rediscovered its history, its religions and its ancient culture in the fourteen years since the Soviets left. Its basic social structures are teetering, mining companies hang like vultures around the unspoilt landscape waiting for the government to let them in, hospitals and schools need support and funding (I couldnt get a tetanus jab anywhere in Mongolia, something I was keen to do after slicing my head open with a cymbal). And yet it is very upbeat. Mongolia is at a crucial point in its history, people know its potential, see its future - there is a plan to build a new capital city on the site of Chingiss original site at Karakorum - but it could go either way. Or it could go another way entirely: Mongolia as a post-petrochemical nation solar panels are the only source of electrical power for nomads, wind power could be enormousÉ(Well you do get a lot of time to think while youre hurtling across the tyre scarred Mongolian landscape for eight hours in a very old bus.) Ill go back, to stand alone and do my thing in a landscape of insurmountable beauty and scale. You are insignificant, and at the same time there is nothing between you and the power of that landscape. Whatever happens, ultimately you are there to experience that huge, terrible, awesome silence It crackles. Six thousand miles to get experimental because if youre there doing it, thats enough. And youre too far away for judgement to matter (unless your mates really good mate happens to be there too and shares a ger with you. Really.) Simon Pascoe
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